Jewish Wedding Customs ~ A Teaching Tool In Christ's Return

For the believer, this earthly existence is only temporary! PTL! We were never meant to view this life as our total existence. It's like waiting on a bus, we have a further purpose and this is not our final destination! We are just passing through! We are to live here, with eternity on our hearts ~ watching, waiting and ready for Christ's return! God uses ancient Israel's wedding customs, as an illustration of the Messiah's relationship to His Bride, the church, to teach us. It makes my heart soar as I long for His return, to be Home! As we look, more closely, at the Jewish wedding customs and the meaning behind each one, I hope it excites you as much as it does me! May God bless!

The first step in the marriage process was called the Shiddukhin, the arraignments that came before the legal betrothal itself. It was common in ancient Israel for the father of the groom to select a bride for his son. We can see the parallels of the customs in the Jewish wedding, as we picture Christ and His Bride, the church. We, too, were chosen for the groom by His Father!

Ephesians 1:4 says,

"For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight."

A Biblical example of Shiddukhin can be found in Genesis 24:1-4. Abraham makes the arrangements for the wedding of Isaac, his son. It was, also, acceptable for the father to choose a representative, who was called a "shadkan" a marriage broker or matchmaker.

Genesis 24:1-4 says,
Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the Lord had blessed him in every way. He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, "Put your hand under my thigh. I want you to swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac."

Once a wife is selected  then comes the marriage contract or "Ketubah"which is a written document stating the "Mohar" the Rights of the bride and the promises of the groom. The groom's promise to take care of his wife and then the bride's dowry is determined during the ketubah.

We find examples of this described in Genesis 24:52-53:
"When Abraham's servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the Lord. Then the servant brought out gold and silver jewelry and articles of clothing and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave costly gifts to her brother and to her mother."

The Mohar is the Bride price paid by the groom. It's required by law and the price is set by the father of the groom. It reflects the value of the bride. It sets the bride free from her parent's household, "she's bought with a price." We see the bride price in the jewelry and clothing given to Rebekah in the verse above and also in Genesis 29: 20, 27 with Jacob and his wives:
v. 20 "So Jacob served 7 years to get Rachael, but it seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her." (Laban, the father, then tricked him and gave him his oldest daughter, Leah, instead of Rachael and Jacob had to work another 7 years for Rachael, whom he loved deeply.)
v. 27 "Finish this daughter's bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work."

In 1 Peter 1:18-19, we are told that it's not with silver or gold, but with His (Christ's) very own life we are bought. If that is a reflection of the bride's value, the church is worth alot!

1 Peter 1:18-19 says,

"For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a Lamb without blemish or defect." (There's no greater price!)

We, too, have a legal contract or ketubah, as Christ's Bride. Our legal contract, as the church, with the Messiah, is the New Covenant. In the same way we have been chosen by the Father to be the precious, loving Bride of His Beloved Son.

The Shiluhim or the dowry is given to the bride by her father to equip her for her new life, it's

 part of her inheritance. We, as believers are given gifts by our Father to equip us for 

 our new life in Him: The Holy Spirit, John 14:16, 17 and  Spiritual Gifts, 2 Cor. 1:21-22 As for the bride, she promises to yield her life and keep herself for Him. Are we doing that? Keeping ourselves pure, holy and blameless?

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says,

"Do you not know that your body is the a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? Your are not your own; you were bought with a price. Therefore, honor God with your body."

The bride and the groom have undergone a time of cleansing, the waters of mikveh or immersion ~ Christ at the beginning of His ministry and we His bride in the cleansing waters.

Ephesians 5:26-27 says,

"To make her holy, cleansing her by the washing of water through the word and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless." 

The Betrothal or Eyrusin is also called kiddushim meaning, "sanctification or set apart".  It defines the purpose of the betrothal period ~ a time in which the couple sets aside to prepare themselves to enter into the covenant of marriage. The Jewish understanding of this betrothal or engagement is much stronger than our modern understanding. It is so binding that the couple would need a divorce in order to annul the contract. This option was only available to the groom, not the wife; she had no say in any divorce proceeding. (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)

Once the couple has gone through the cleansing time, being set apart, they would come together under the Huppah or canopy and, publicly, express their intention of becoming engaged. In ancient times till now, the Huppah or wedding canopy has been a symbol of a new household being planned. During this ceremony items are exchanged, like rings and wine to seal their betrothal or engagement vows.

The betrothal continues, once the engagement is made known by a period of one year when the couple is considered married, but is not to have sexual relations and they continue to live, separately, until the end of the betrothal time. It's a time of preparation, purification and undistracted devotion. 

The Bridal gift or Mattan, is a gift given by the groom to his wife just prior to him leaving to go and prepare a place for them to live. It's a pledge of his love for her and is to be a reminder to her in their days of separation, that he is thinking about her and will return to take her as his bride. It's not required but given out of love. 

There were separate responsibilities during this year of betrothal for each of them. The groom's responsibility was to prepare a place for them to live. It was most often simply adding additional rooms to his father's house. It was the Rabbi's job to determine that the place to which the bride was to be taken must be better than the place she dwelled before. It's was the groom's job to decide when the place he was preparing was ready and then his father would make the determination and give the okay to receive his bride.

The bride was to be busy preparing for the wedding day ~ the garments were sewn and made ready.

The bride, also, was to keep herself busy in preparation for the wedding day - specifically wedding

 apparel for her and her brides maids.

Also as part of the betrothal which includes the wine under the Huppah, one of the last actions of the groom was to bless the cup of the ketubah, the contract of marriage ~ in our case, Christ and the cup of the New Covenant. The wine would not be tasted by Him until he would drink it again at the wedding feast. In Christ, our betrothal, the promise is so sure that it would take a religious divorce to nullify the contract, His Covenant. Remember the divorce is only available to the groom. 

In Hosea 2:19-20 it says,

"I will betroth you forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. I will betroth you in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge the Lord."

God would never divorce His people, it's not in His character. We are secure in our contract with the Messiah, we cannot break it and He promises that He will not break it.

In John 10:28 He says,

"I give them eternal life and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand."

Christ is fulfilling His betrothal obligations now, while we wait and are to be making ready for His return for us, the church, His bride. He's gone to prepare a place for us. 

In John 14:1-3 He says, 

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."

We talked about the Mattan or bridal gift of love, it means gift or pledge, in the Greek the word is Charismata. In Ephesians 1:13-14 Paul tells us that this gift is the Holy Spirit ~ which is a promise of His love and that He will return for us. This gift or pledge was given at Pentecost in Acts 2:1-4. While the groom is gone, the Bride of Christ, the church, is to consecrate itself, to be set apart, holy. Are we pure and holy, wearing bridal attire and keeping the covenant promises?

The final step or the Nissuin, meaning to carry, or the wedding: The bride would have taken the betrothal seriously and would be expecting her groom to come for her at the end of one year. She wouldn't have known the exact time or day. It was the groom's father that would give the final approval for the wedding to begin. Christ's Father, will give the approval, the time of His return for His Bride!

Since the arrival time was a surprise, the bride and her bridemaids had to always be ready. As was the custom, one of the groomsmen would go ahead of the bridegroom, leading the way to the bride's house and was shouting: "Behold, the bridegroom comes." This would be followed by the sounding of the shofar and then the entire wedding processional would go through the streets of the city to the bride's house. The groomsmen would set up the Huppah and again the couple would say a blessing over a cup of wine and the ceremony would finalize the vows and promises.

The highlight was the joyful celebration of the marriage supper. It included 7 full days of food, music and celebration and afterwards the groom was free to bring his wife to their new home and to live together in the full marriage covenant.

Jesus told His disciples that He, Himself, did  not know the day or the hour of His return; He too, must wait on His Father to give the word that the set time has arrived. Just as in the Jewish wedding, a messenger was sent ahead with a shout, if we look at 1 Thessalonians 4:16-18 there will indeed be a shout and a trumpet or shofar! 

1 Thessalonians 4: 16-18 says, 

"For the Lord Himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught u[ together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore encourage each other with these words." (The voice of an archangel, how's that for a messenger?) Oh, it just thrills my soul!!

Revelation 19:7-9 says, 

"Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride."

In Hosea 2:19-20, as we read above, it is clear that Israel is the bride of Christ. Yet a Newer Covenant tells us that the "church" is His bride. So, are there two brides? No, the two are one, we've been grafted in!

In Romans 11:17-19  we see, clearly, that we have been grafted in:

If some of the branches have been broken off, and you, though a wild olive shoot, have been grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing sap from the olive root, do not boast over those branches. If you do, consider this:  You do not support the root, but the root supports you. You will say then, "Branches were broken off so that I could be grafted in." 

I hope, my friend, that your relationship with the LORD is so intimate, that you are looking for His return and that you are ready ~ sealed in His Spirit and sanctified and set apart! Are you watching longingly? I am!