Amazing Love . . .

My husband, Jim, has mirrored God's amazing love to me over the past 35 years, that I've been blessed to be his wife, in so many ways! Jim's love was sacrificial, so many times, when he put me and my needs, ahead of his own. Jim sought to mirror God's love, not only to me, but to others too! Though, he was not always 100% perfect in his delivery, it was Jim's heart throb for me and others to KNOW that they truly mattered to God. If there was a life message that Jim carried through out his years on this earth, it was "Umatter". As we moved from state to state, Jim's first sermon was always to bring an understanding to this new flock, that he had the priveledge to serve, that you matter to God! In each state his license plate was a continual reminder to all, as it read, "Umatter". God's amazing love when reflected changes lives! Jim's love for me has made it believable that God could love me so intimately and affectionately!

As I have looked to God for all my needs, with Jim's passing, from death to life; God has made His presence known to me in so many intimate and personable ways that I am in awe of Him! God has ministered to my spirit bringing expectant hope right in the middle of wondering, "How do I go on from here?"

If one were to look, with human eyes, it would appear that I am very much alone, but there would be alot you'd be missing! When I'm on my knees, my heavenly Father is so real and present, it's as if we are face to face! I can feel His comfort and hear His voice; His words of encouragement, wiping away all my fears. Sitting at my Lord's feet, my heart is poured out in grief and yet rises, not only having been known and understood in it's entirety, but being refreshed and renewed to soar again!
It's like refueling a car that's run out of gas; when refueled, it's power is restored! Like your car has to be refilled again and again, so do we, God has created us to need Him! We were never meant to run on our own power, to reason or to figure out our way through the maze of this life. I'm grateful for that right now, because I am clueless where to go from here! If life has you weary and beaten down, God is calling you, beckoning you to come: "Come all, ye, who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest."

In the trials and storms of this life we tend to run out of fuel more quickly. We can "hit our wall" in the middle of our day or even before we get out of bed; our coffee that we run to, simply, falls far short! It's like having a tiny hole in the fuel line on our car and trying to find a moment in the business of life to get it fixed. It's gonna be a drain on our life till we can get the needed repair and refuel! If we don't deal with it and ignore the problem, we will, eventually, run out of power altogether.

Right now, I seem to hit my wall more quickly and know sometimes I need to just to rest, to get sleep. Sometimes the need is different; I need God's wisdom, to sit at His feet and to be restored, to seek direction and to ask for help. There's so many questions! God cares about us and we matter to Him, deeply, but we will never know Him, intimately, by ignoring Him with our independence. God's desire is for us to come and to depend on Him for everything; to know Him, personally, and to allow Him to meet our every need! God created you and I with a void that was meant to be filled with Him; we can try to fill it with many things, but will never be fulfilled till we let Him in.

God has given us freedom of choice, to choose to live this life any way we please. He created each one of us to know Him and to have an intimate relationship with Him; to be in continual pursuit and to seek Him daily, but He will not force Himself on us. What are you seeking?

Jim's life verse: Psalm 27:4 says, "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple." (We were created to fellowship with God, to pursue Him!)

Psalm 27:8, my life verse, says, 'My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"Your face, Lord, I will seek.'

Jeremiah 29:13 says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."(We were created to seek God.)

Jeremiah 29:11 says, "I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."(God created us with a plan and purpose for our life.)

Who's dreams are you pursuing? Where are you putting your trust? (Relationships, money, things, position, etc.)

People have asked me, with Jim's passing away, "What are you going to do with your future?"
For me, I choose to simplify; I have been bought with a price and I am not my own. Jesus spilt his blood on the cross for me, I am His now, for His plans and purposes. We all have the choice to do life our own way or God's way and we all have to live with the choices we make. God has a plan and a purpose for each one of us, far beyond what we can think to imagine! Choices, we make them daily, with or without God!

A missionary to Africa in the 1930's, Betty Stam, for me, says it best: "Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes and accept Your will for my life. I give myself, my time, my all, utterly to You to be Yours forever. Fill me and seal me with Your Holy Spirit. Use me as You will, send me where You will, work out Your whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever."

God is as real and alive, just as if you and I were sitting here face to face! God can be known, personally, and has made a way, through His Son Jesus Christ, for us to come straight into the throne room of Grace! He can be known! We were created to be in pursuit of Him . . .

No, I am not perfect in my delivery either, (I am a mess), if we were truthful with ourselves and others, we know that to be true about us all! We've all got issues and we can blame others for our lack of spiritual response, if we want, but when it comes down to it, you and I will be, alone, responsible for how we lived our lives, as we stand before God. Not what others did, how it effected us, but what we did with God!

1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He's faithful and just to forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

What we believe changes us! God, in us, changes how we live! He changes what we can't! What's your choice? I have to make the choice with each new day, to follow in the paths of His amazing love!