Many things are competing for my attention right now, so many unanswered questions and, at the moment, God is choosing to only say, "Be still, wait on me, trust me." In my situation it seems unreasonable to keep waiting, again my faith is being stretched! He's given me a few things to do, but I'm wanting to fix it all now, today! God has proven Himself faithful, trustworthy and dependable over and over again; not even once has He failed me! He's done the unimaginable, yet I still struggle, at times! "I'm ready to move on!" God doesn't seem to be in a hurry!
When God asks us to do what seems unreasonable, that which seems to make no sense, to our finite minds, how quickly, we want to reason why another path seems better and to explain away and ignore His instructions. Have we not all wished, at some point, that God's voice was audible? Our best response, is to hear His "Wait." and to be still. It helps me to remind myself that God is still working, behind the scenes, while I wait.
It's so easy to find ourselves worried about the opinions of others, how things might look, more than the desire to please Him, alone. Difficult circumstances really test our relationship with the Lord and our ability to trust in Him, with the hard stuff in life; we strive to discern His will, the paths He wants us to take. I think we can make it so much harder than it really is, I know I, often do. We want all the answers up front, to move on. God tends to unfold His plans one day at a time; this, continually, tests our faith, our ability to trust Him step by step! Our focus is our comfort, to move beyond the trial, to fix it; God's focus is our growth, our maturity being gained through it!
The longer I walk with Him, the more I realize I am my biggest stumbling block. He has a plan for us and He will funnel us. We make our plans, but in the end He chooses our steps.
Proverbs 16:9 says,
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."
We make it more difficult, by reasoning and trying to figure things out. I want things to makes sense from a human perspective, God wants me simply to trust what I can't see. Waiting still challenges and tests me; sometimes, I make hard, what could be simple and easy, if I would just rest, trust, and "Be still, and cease striving!" Some days I do it better than others.
How we long, in this world of stress, for rest, yet when, actually, told we can be still, to rest, He's got it, we seem to grow even more restless! I see areas I've grown in this in the past 6 months, but as God keeps requiring more, a greater level of trust, with each new step, I find myself struggling to want to know the outcome, to fix it all and make it all right now! My plan doesn't require faith or the opportunity to see Him do what I can't do, my plan is the quick fix! God plan is designed to mature me, to teach me; it all still feels like more, "hurry up and wait", but that's because I am growing impatient. In my impatience, I can cry out, "I'm ready to move on to the what's next!" yet, really having no clue as to what's ahead, what needs to be worked into my life to be ready for what follows, only He knows! Even, with our own children, we have a tendency to want to fix things for them, to remove the trials, but God sees the value of going through them. Our children grow and mature through difficulties, just like we do!
No one should have to deal with alot of what has to be faced and dealt with in the loss of a loved one, the loss is big enough on it own! But, I am choosing to accept this as God's chosen journey for me and I find it easiest when I choose to rest in Him and take what comes in stride, looking to Him, to guide me through it, in His timing, instead of pleading for it to all go away! It's the tough stuff that is driving me deeper into His arms! It's the deepest difficulties that causes me to seek Him with not only a urgency, but with all my heart and causes me to remain there, abiding close to Him. With better times, my focus tends to move away from Him and we forget the blessing of that deepened relationship that is found in the depth of such need! With time I've come to realize that the difficulties are my greatest blessings, even though, I don't enjoy them!
If you are hurting, I encourage you to allow God to use it to your benefit, draw near to Him, seek Him, allow the difficulties to drive you closer, instead of farther away. Don't let the seed of bitterness rob you of such sweet fellowship! It is possible to find joy and sing in the shadow of His wings; to know His peace, His comfort, even in the worst of times! There's so much to praise Him for!
The Trial Process: Psalm 71:17-23
"Since my youth, O God, You have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, O God, till I declare Your power to the next generation, Your might to all who are to come. Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, You who have done great things. Who, O God, is like You? Though You have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth You will bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again. I will praise You with the harp for Your faithfulness, O my God; I will sing praise to You with the lyre, O Holy One of Israel. My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to You ~ I, whom You have redeemed." (Notice, trials taken from God's perspective bring praise, they rejoice in God's Presence and shout to the next generation, "He's alive, He walks with men, draw near, He can be known!")
Take courage, my friend, the trials only last for a season, this too will pass! Sing His praises, declare His Faithfulness! Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you! He is our every Hope, He is our Peace! Let us sing His praises and proclaim His Faithfulness to the next generation!
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