"What's God Gonna Do, Bring It To The Door?"

This particular story that I'm about to tell you, took place when I was a young pastor's wife! (Did I say I was young?) Lol. I'm about to tell on myself and, in this case, my attitude was more than a bit embarrassing! But, I promised the Lord, if he ever brought this story to mind that I would tell it, so here goes! God is Faithful, even when we aren't!

Have you ever, knowingly, acted in a wrong way? I think we all have had a bad attitude, at some point in time, in our lives! Maybe, through miserable thinking, you ended up with a miserable attitude; or maybe, through angry thoughts you found yourself moving through your day angry at everything and everybody! Well, Christians aren't exempt from wrong choices, though, everyone expects us to be. We all know a wrong attitude when we see one! Well, I struggle just like you do with the day to day trials in life and I would like to think that I'm growing stronger in my faith, but I have, in no means, arrived! God's still working on me!

We had just moved to SC to start a church; God had, graciously, opened up a meeting place for us, a recreation center in a large subdivision. We found a home, close by, to rent and were excited about the new adventure! Home missions, in our move, couldn't promise us a salary, but did commit to continue to pay our medical insurance, so we knew we'd get settled and need to get jobs right away.

Now, you have to know that my husband's father is, also, a pastor. Ed had been involved in church planting for years; Ed had, also, been a director over the churches in one of the districts and we respected his experience and wisdom. As Jim's parents visited us, they were excited to see the surrounding area and we were anxious for any insight that they might have for us.

Some of Ed's advice, though, wasn't quite what I expected. Ed had always had a strong work ethic and had raised Jim, giving him opportunities to learn the value of work. When Jim was a boy, his dad bought him a lawn mower; Jim's job was to work all summer cutting grass and pay his dad back for the mower. (Any money beyond that was Jim's to keep) One spring, Jim's dad paid a farmer to till some ground and plant corn; Jim's job was to care for it, harvest it and sell it.

I remember the discussion, as if it were yesterday, as we all stood at the end of the driveway of our, newly, rented home; Jim and I were talking about the prospects for finding work. His dad's response, wasn't what either of us expected. Jim's dad said, "Well, Jim, this is the Lord's work and you need to focus on planting the church and let God supply for your needs!" That sent both of our minds reeling! The rent for the house was $550, which may not seem like much today, but it was alot then! I said, "Oh, I can get a job and Jim can focus on planting the church!" His dad's response, again, was shocking: "No, you are his helpmate, you need to focus on planting the church with him and let God meet your needs!" (I'm sorry, but nothing about that computed for me!) "How are we suppose to pay the bills?" There's $550 rent, a car payment $135, electric, sewer, food, etc.) I couldn't believe what I knew about Jim's dad and his work ethic, that he'd be saying this??? Yet, I, highly, respected him and we chose to follow his advice! He only repeated, "You focus on God's work and God will provide for your needs!"

Well, so we stepped out "in faith" to plant God's church, trusting Him to provide. (Though, I don't think you could call my experience "faith" it was more like alot of worry!) So, this particular day, we get up and Jim opens the refrigerator and then the freezer and laughs and says, "Well, this should be exciting, God's gonna have to provide soon because there's not much in here and we've got three bills due today!" (Now, that's faith!) But that bit of information was enough to send me into despair! I liked bills paid ahead! Three bills "due today" and no money was my idea of late and totally unnerving!
I wasn't trusting God and, by this point, had made myself very weary with worry. (My attitude was one of anger) "Was this the way God took care of his pastors and wives?"Lol. (Terrible attitude!!!!)

Jim coaxed me into riding along with him to the post office; he was, disgustingly, happy and even singing, which was really quite annoying to me in my frame of mind! "Who knows," he said, "maybe, God will send us some money in the mail!" Well, there was nothing in the mail and, of course, I was all the more bothered! Jim said, "Sheryl, God can provide for us in many ways, He doesn't have to send it through the mail, trust Him! Don't put God in a box!" Well, I'm sorry to say, but my response wasn't very respectful: "What's God gonna do, bring it to the door?" (How's that for bitterness?) Jim was still unwavering in his faith, but I had long ago passed doubt and had moved on to sulking and self pity! Jim had chosen faith and was enjoying a great day! I had chosen fear and worry and was, absolutely, miserable! I was "tired of trusting God day to day"! Lol. (Trusting doesn't make us weary and tired; fear, doubt and worry do!)

So, when we got home I laid down on the bed to sulk and soon there was a knock at the door. It was my dad; they'd driven to the post office to get their mail and there was an envelope addressed to us, so they had dropped it by. They had another appointment to meet, so they didn't come in; which, with my attitude, was, probably, a good thing! Jim opened the envelope and there was a check, enough to pay one of the bills! Jim was so excited and grateful and brought it in to show me, but do you think in my frame of mind I was thankful? (Why there were still two more bills due TODAY and the need for groceries!) Lol. Don't we just make ourselves miserable and others too, with our stewing?

I, finally, decided to go for a walk "to try and blow the stink off". I knew I had a bad attitude and we, certainly, would have required our daughter "to change her attitude" if it had been her! If she heard it once, she heard it a 1000 times, "change your attitude"! I returned from the walk in a little better spirits, till I heard that we were getting company. You've heard misery loves company? Well, only when others join in your misery!

The elders from the, nearby, Anderson church called and they were going to be in town and wanted to come by and encourage us in our "step of faith" in following God. I was grateful for their caring, but "did it have to be today"? Nope, the stinking thinking was still in tack! (Nothing blown away here)
The men arrived with such sweet spirits and such encouraging words and as they made ready to leave they said, "Well, we have a few things in the car for you!" Of course, Jim asked, "Do you need any help?" "Yes, we could use a hand," they replied. So, I piped in, "Do you need MY help?" "Well, you could hold the door open." Now, you need to know, that My position of holding the door open was a God appointment; He had placed me there for a reason . . . a lesson to never be forgotten was about to be learned! I held the door open, while 13 BIG boxes of food crossed the threshold . . . I know because God counted and with every single one, God said, "Sheryl, I brought it to the door! Sheryl, I brought it to the door! Sheryl, I brought it to the door! Sheryl, I brought it to the door! (I felt like Peter when the cock crowed!) As the elders, so lovingly, presented their gifts of love, I was filled with grief and shame for my attitude and anger. As they hugged us to leave, "Oh, here, we took up and offering," as they handed Jim an envelope. A gracious and loving God, had called on some dear, sweet people to give! My eyes filled with tears, as Jim opened the envelope and there was a check to pay the other two bills. Jim had been rejoicing ALL day and was praising the Lord! I had been, absolutely, miserable and now was filled with grief and shame for my doubting the Lord's Faithfulness! I asked God's forgiveness and it was immediate, I was rejoicing too in a God of grace! I was undeserving of God's Faithfulness, but what I want you to notice about this story, which makes it so memorable to me is that God acted in Faithfulness and love, when I was not trusting and was very undeserving of his unmerited favor! I will never forget it! God provides for his children, it's a promise HE keeps! God's promise to provide or His Faithfulness is not contingent on our behavior! He keeps His promises! And I couldn't help but notice, that He responded, very specifically, to my disrespectful comment, "What's He gonna do, bring it to the door?" God heard me and bothered to show me that He did! (God brought us two checks and thirteen BIG boxes of food and He brought it ALL to the door! I promised God that day, to never forget the lesson learned and to tell this story, whenever He brought it to mind. It's a spiritual marker for me, an unforgotten lesson of His amazing love, that I, quickly, call to memory when the storms of doubt are brewing!

Satan lies you know? God IS our Provider and He can bring it to the door! May God bless you in your faith journey with Him and may you not waver, as I did that day, but believe! He is trustworthy! Like Jim, choose to assume a position of faith and joy and watch God keep His promise! Don't choose the misery of fear and doubt! God takes care of His children! Believe!

A Quiet Heart When Troubles Are Multiplying . . .

It's never more important to "be still" than when troubles are multiplying, but our hearts instead, often, move to troubled and restless and we stir around and do things, anything, to try to fix it all. We tend to weary ourselves, when what's really needed is to quiet our hearts and seek the counsel of God, who knows the answers! In fact, it can almost feel impossible to be still when our hearts and minds are so burdened. It's in these moments, that it is ALL important, to be at rest, before the Lord. We aren't, likely, sleeping soundly anyway. This is the perfect time for us to get up and in the stillness of the night, to enter into God's Presence, to still our hearts and our thoughts, it may take time, but we must be patient! He knows our struggles, He understands our pain, He knows our anxious thoughts. We must let His Spirit pour over us and breathe! Feel them fall away, as we focus on His radiance, He can meet our needs and carry our burdens. Will you let Him? Put God first and seek him!

Matthew 6:33 says, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you."(What would happen if we believed this verse and actually did this?)

Philippians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your heart and your minds in Christ Jesus." (It takes work, on a day to day basis, to live out this verse, we must captivate our thoughts and not allow them to go wherever they will.)

God knows our thoughts, my friend, pour your heart out before Him! Don't tell Him what you think He wants to hear; be honest, tell Him like it is, the truth! He will listen!

Psalm 116:1-2 says, "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on Him as long as I live."

Proverbs 2:6-8 says, "For the Lord gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds victory in store for the upright, He is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for He guards the course of the just and protects the way of His faithful ones."

We can call on Him to search our hearts and our thoughts! We must not hide them from Him, He knows everything about us already. We can come as we are, He loves us unconditionally!

Psalms 139: 1-16 says,
"O Lord, you have searched me and know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.
You hem me in~behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely, the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to you; for darkness is as light to you.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

God knows all things, everything about us. When troubles are multiplying and we are feeling surrounded with anxious thoughts and fears, ours sins are, likely, multiplying too! (Impatience, frustration, anger, bitterness, depression) God desires for us to come to Him with those too!

We can pray with David,

Psalm 51:1-4, 7-12

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight.
Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice. Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.
Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me."

Psalm 119:58-59 says,
"I have sought your face with all my heart; be gracious to me according to your promise. I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes. I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands."

We focus on the circumstances, the problems, our own comfort and long for it all to go away, but our suffering is about so much more!

Psalm 119:67-68, 71 says,
"Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good, teach me your decrees. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees."

Psalm 119:92-93 says,
"If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life."

Dear friend, whatever has drawn you to read this, God knows all that's on your heart! He knows your troubles and He knows mine and He will use them for our good! Maybe, to mature us, to draw us closer to Him; maybe, to show us our sin and to bring us back into fellowship with Him. What if He wants to strengthen you, in your weakness, or display Himself to others, through you and your struggles, for His glory? Can you trust Him with everything, putting Him first and foremost? I know, it's hard, but He longs to take the reigns and carry you, if you will only let Him! Won't you let go and let Him be God? Our struggles are preparing us for eternity!

James 1 says that our trials are testing our faith, developing perseverance and maturity so that we will be complete, lacking in nothing! We can rest, in the Lord, through our trials and view them as a learning opportunity. We aren't expected to be happy for the problems, but we can choose a positive outlook, expectant hope! Entrust it all to the Lord, my friend! James 1, also says that we can ask God for wisdom and He promises to give it, without finding fault, if we believe and do not waver. Let faith be your shield, hold it up! When we choose faith as our shield and hold it up, God promises to give us the wisdom asked for, if we do not waver. Faith opens the door to God's grace!

In Romans 12, God calls us to be living sacrifice and yet, if you're like me, I, more often than not, want to crawl off the table.

Romans 12:2 says,
"Therefore, I urge you, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God ~ this is your spiritual act of worship! Do not conform any longer to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of the mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is ~ His good and perfect will."

God's premise, here, in this Romans passage is to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice ~ holy (pure) and pleasing to God! Without blemish, without sin! He requires us to walk different from the world and says that the way we do that is by transforming our minds ~ renewing them. (We hide His truths in our heart that we might not sin against Him.) His truths renew our minds. He says, THEN you will be able to test and approve what God's will is ~ His good and perfect will. His truths teach us MUCH about His will, they keep us from continuing to walk in sin, by showing us the error of our ways. They bring us wisdom in discerning His will ~ they lead us in freedom, as we choose to live by them.

Yes, my troubles are being multiplied too! My husband's illness, inability to work, death, medical bills, household bills, the need for a job, with no real resume, (other than 32 years in the Lord's service as a pastor's wife) and then there's the bad economy. After 32 years of serving along side my husband in the ministry, I don't have much of a resume, but O, the blessings I have had! Is God not mindful of my demise? Sure He is! Is He not pouring Himself over me and carrying me? Every inch of the way! Waiting on the Lord is difficult! I can sit here and sing, "rescue the perishing", but when the waves of grief still are coming, I must sit still and be renewed, refreshed and gain perspective! "God can't steer a parked car!" I pray and then move against the fear to do all that's necessary to discover the path He has open for me, trusting Him to funnel, guide and provide.

My friend, we must not look at what can be seen, the things causing our fears, but focus our thoughts on the unseen! We must expect God to see us through our struggles, even if you're very sick and He's calling you Home! Take one day, one step at a time, asking for His wisdom ~ believing His will is good and perfect!

When I lose focus, like I did last night before bedtime, we only spiral into despair, when we can know joy! When we stumble, He is waiting to take our hand and lead us back into his Peace and Rest! If you are reading this, I covet your prayers! I want to captivate every thought and trust Him completely! I am praying for you, that God will meet your every need and that He will reveal Himself to you in new ways today. I love you, my friend, BUT God's love is an unconditional and everlasting love ~ bask in His Presence and come to know Him! He's inviting you to come!

I have shared with you my quiet time with the Lord tonight, as I met with Him in the night watches; and now, with the sunrise, like you, I need to face the day, in His power! This is not time wasted, but empowerment to the soul, to look to Him today, all day, as we seek His will! With expectant hope, we can walk thru our day today with joy, looking to Him to see us THROUGH the trials with all faith! He is Faithful, we can trust Him! May God bless your day in ways only He can!

Overwhelming Grief . . .

Anyone that has loss a spouse can tell you that you can't get around the grief. You can busy yourself and try to ignore it, but it won't be ignored. It's in your face, the one you treasured, so deeply, is not here! Life is finite! It's beyond comforting, for me to KNOW Jim is in the Presence of the Lord that I love so deeply. There's still no way around dealing with my loss. ALL your being longs to be in God's Presence too, to be freed of such pain! I long to be HOME more than ever before, but God is not finished with me yet! The grief, the loss, the pain is so overwhelming you're sure your heart is just going to explode in the anguish! Loss, grief, and pain bring change! The loss of a spouse turns everything you've known upside down, nothing is any longer the same, nor will it be again.

How do we go on with life, when everything inside us is hurting? The grief is, actually, just hitting, when everyone is pulling away and it seems it's time to move forward with life again! It's at that moment, that it hits you, that your loved one isn't on some extended trip ~ they're not going to walk in the door, any moment, from work. You've, actually, hoped it's a bad dream, that you're going to wake up in their arms again, to hear their voice! It's your every hope that they'd walk through the door and it all be a mistake, some misunderstanding! You long to hear their voice, but they are gone, as are those moments, that we so often take for granite.

Sooner or later, we all are going to face the loss of someone we deeply treasure. It's inevitable, death is a part of life ~ we ALL will face the loss of someone we love and depending on the depth and the intimacy of that relationship, we may feel that it sooner be us.

The prayers, the encouraging words, the cards, the phone calls are comforting in ways people can not imagine. But still, there is a void that no one can fill, a grief so deep, it feels like a bottomless pit! No one, but the Lord is capable of filling such an emptiness! No one! If you have lossed a loved one, I want you to know that God loves you deeply, more than, even the one you're having to let go of did. He is not far off, He is alive and desires to draw near and to comfort you, as no other. He's, truly, the only One that can take that feeling of "dying from the inside out" and to replace it with His Comfort and Peace.

Sitting at His feet and pouring out your heart out before Him, being honest about your pain and fears is a safe place to be trueful with your feelings. He will not ignore them, He will walk with you
THROUGH them! I know you want to avoid them, I know you just want the pain to go away, I'm there! It will lessen, a little bit, with each passing day, but we must go THROUGH it ~ hiding or running will not keep it at bay. We must work through it! Run to God!

Life isn't patient, either, even with the grieving, it demands we move forward. There's relationships to keep, bills that need to be paid, children or grand children that need a lap to sit on ~ life goes on. How in the world do you move forward from something so devastating, to being able to focus and to face life, in the midst of such trauma? There's only one way, my friend ~ sit at your Lord's feet, let Him pour Himself over you. Let God dispel your fears and wipe away your tears! Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you! Seek Him, let Him be Your ONE pursuit ~ it will be the most important thing you will ever do on this earth, as long as you draw breath! He will be a Refuge for you, an ever PRESENT help in trouble!

God's truths, His Word (the Bible) will dispel the lies that Satan will be throwing in your face! "You can not live with out (him or her)", will be Satan's lie to you. He will point out every conceivable fear and tell you how alone you are. It's not true! They are ALL lies, you can move against the fear! God's truths will dispel those lies! If you'll let God, He will take you by the hand and show you the way He has planned for you! He has a plan! Satan will blame it on God, don't take the bait!

Yes, you have lost someone you deeply valued, but you CAN go on! No, not on your own strength, I know it's feeling like sinking sand. You need someone to sustain you, to carry you, someone who will not leave you alone or forsake you ~  someone who is ABLE to carry you and knows the way through the storm.

If you are reading this, I'm praying for you! God can be known, intimately, and He longs to know you, personally. Won't you give Him a chance? He is sustaining me, right now, and I have never felt pain so deep or so grievious at any other time in my life! When I sit at His feet and worship Him and seek His face, my heart's fears vanish and my tears are moved to joy! He lifts my soul's burden's that have brought me to disfunction! Have you known another that can cause your heart to soar, when no other can? (It's called a love relationship and a love relationship with God is like no other!)

My friend, He can dispel your fears, encourage your heart and meet all your needs! It's a relationship and like any other intimate relationship, it's time spent with, that brings that deep intimacy, affection and trust. He is trustworthy! If you've never experienced a relationship with the Lord, ask Him to show you Himself, He will!

If you've been so blessed that you do not know what it's like to lose someone so close, to feel like your heart is breaking, then there's nothing better for you to be prepared for that, than to deepen your relationship, now, with the ONLY ONE, that can carry you through such a tragedy! There will be trials and even nightmares in this life on earth and some are for real! Sometimes we don't get to wake up and be grateful that they aren't true! Whatever life has brought you, my friend, that has you shook or feeling fear, grief, pain or loss~ THROUGH it is the only passage. ALL will fall short of filling such a DEEP need, but the Lord! Sit at His feet, it's never too late! Be honest, before the Lord, with your shortcomings, your struggles and your fears! You can be yourself, you don't have to pretend!

I promise you, if you come, He will not turn you away, no matter what you've done! He died, not to save the righteous, but the sinners of this world, like me. He died for us, so we could overcome sin. We can not be good enough to enter heaven on our own merit. Christ died in our place, all we need to do is accept that gift, to be forgiven. There's nothing you can do to cause God to love you more! Come, as you are and let God do the work in you! We can not change ourselves. Sit at His feet and let Him be your God! Let Him wash over you with His love and bring you HIS PEACE!

It's my every prayer that you will come to KNOW Him! That you will believe that He is real and alive and can be known by you ~ for you to know how deeply He desires you to come! If but one person is encouraged, helped or comes to KNOW the depth of God's love through my loss, then it will have been ALL worth while! May God bless you, as He has me, if you're reading this! I'm praying for you to come to KNOW Him more!